I carry a log ... yes. Is it funny to you? It is not to me. Behind all things are reasons. Reasons can even explain the absurd. Do we have the time to learn the reasons behind the human being's varied behavior? I think not. Some take the time. Are they called detectives? Watch ... and see what life teaches.

Diane ... 6:18 am, room 315, Great Northern Hotel up here in Twin Peaks. Slept pretty well. Non-smoking room. There's no tobacco smell. That's a nice consideration for the business traveler. A hint of douglas fir needles in the air. As Sheriff Truman indicated they would, everything this hotel promised, they've delivered: clean, reasonably priced accommodations ... telephone works ... bathroom in really tip-top shape ... no drips, plenty of hot water and good, steady pressure ... could be a side benefit of the waterfall outside my window ... mattress firm, but not too firm ... and no lumps like that time I told you about down in El Paso. What a nightmare that was, but of course you've heard me tell that story once or twice, haven't you Diane. Haven't tried the television yet. Looks like cable, probably no reception problems. But the true test of any hotel, as you now well know Diane, is that morning cup of coffee. Which I'll be getting back to you about within the half hour.

Diane, it struck me again earlier this morning. There are two things that continue to trouble me, and I'm speaking now not only as an agent of the Bureau, but also as a human being. What really went on between Marilyn Monroe and the Kennedys? And who really pulled the trigger on JFK?

Wait a minute, wait a minute ... hmmm. You know, this is, excuse me, a damn fine cup of coffee. I've had I can't tell you many cups of coffee in my life and this ... this is one of the best.

Now I'd like two eggs, over hard. I know don't tell me, it's hard on the arteries, but old habits die hard, just about as hard as I want those eggs ... bacon, super-crispy, almost burned, cremate it ...

... that's great and I'll have the grapefruit juice, just as long as those grapefruits ...

... are freshly squeezed.

My name's Audrey Horne.

Federal Bureau of Investigation, Special Agent Dale Cooper.

Can I sit here?

Miss Horne, unless I miss my guess, your father is Benjamin Horne, the owner of this fine establishment, so I imagine you can sit anywhere you like. I'd also like to add that it would be my pleasure.

Thank you. Your here investigating the murder of Laura Palmer.

Were you friends with Laura Palmer?

Not exactly. See, Laura tutored my older brother Johnny three times a week. Johnny's twenty-seven and he's in the third grade. He's got emotional problems, it runs in the family. Do you like my ring?

Very nice.

You know sometimes I get so flushed, its interesting. Do your palms ever itch?

Morning, deputy.

Good morning, Agent Cooper.

Hey there Lucy.

Agent Cooper, I got jelly for you special, the Sheriff's in the conference room at door across from the ...

I'll look for him in the conference room.

Hey, three for three.

Sheriff, lets get James Hurley up from cell four and talk to him straight. He was in love with Laura Palmer, my bet is she told him whatever dirt she knew about Mike and Bobby and who knows what else. Then lets have a little chat with those two perpetrators, lets also run a top to bottom on Bobby's vehicle , see what that brings us. We'll also check on the autopsy on Laura Palmer and see what that brings in. Oh, we're also gonna want to talk to Mr. and Mrs. Palmer but lets give them a few of days to deal with their grief. Now I got the rest of our day mapped out, lets meet back here in three minutes. Harry, I really have to urinate.

Oh, by the way, coffee at the Great Northern, incredible.

Harry, as you know, I delivered Laura. I've known her all her life, she was my daughter's best friend. I couldn't bring myself to do the postmortem, so I called Joe Fielding in from Fairvale. He did the work, I assisted. Well, this is what he found. Time of death estimated to be between midnight and four AM. What killed her was loss of blood. Numerous shallow wounds, no single one serious enough to have caused death. Bite marks on her shoulders also on her tongue, probably self-inflicted. Lesions on wrists, ankles, and upper arms, where she was bound. We're waiting on the toxological tests for drug use. Within the last ... twelve hours, she had sexual relations with at least three men.

You've examined Ronette Pulaski as well?

Yes , ... uhh ... there's no question in my mind the same perpetrator attacked both of them in that train car.

Doc, when, if ever, will Ronette be able to talk to us?

She had a severe head injury, it's still early to tell, add to that the psychological impact of the fear, ... probably ... witnessing what was happening to Laura before she ...

So beautiful. Who would do a thing like that?

Leo. Leo, honey? I have to go to work now and Norma should be here any sec ... Leo?

Did you finish cleaning my boots?

Yeah, I did them and I did the laundry too.

All of it?

Well, yeah.

No you didn't.

Okay Leo, when I get home I'll do it.

Now, Shelly.

Okay.

Blood.

Shelly? Norma's here.

Shelly, did you hear me say Norma's here?

Yeah, I heard you Leo.

I'm gonna come by the diner sometime today. Be a good girl and save me a piece 'a pie.

Sure, Leo.

James, you were placed under arrest for suspicion of murder, the murder of Laura Palmer. Now you have no previous criminal record, is that correct?

None. No, sir.

Did you shoot this video?

That's your cycle isn't it?

Yes, sir. The three of us went up there two Sundays ago.

James, you were in love with Laura. The two of you were seeing each other secretly. No one else at school, or any of her friends knew about it. She was the homecoming queen, she was dating the captain of the football team. How much longer did you think you could keep this relationship a secret?

Well, it was secret because that's the way she wanted it.

Why? Was she afraid of Bobby?

I think so.

Did you know that she was using cocaine?

Yes.

Did you ever use cocaine with her?

No, I tried to get her to stop and she did for a while.

Why did she start using again?

Something happened a couple of days ago.

What, what happened?

I don't know. I think something scared her because she wouldn't see me. She wouldn't even talk to me.

When was the last time you saw her?

The night she died. She snuck out of the house about 9:30. About 12:30 I stopped the bike at the light at Sparkwood and 21, and she jumped off and ran away. I didn't see her again.

Did you and Laura have a fight?

Not exactly but she said she couldn't see me anymore.

Why?

She didn't say.

Recognize this necklace?

Yes, sir.

James, what happened on February 5th and who has the other half of this heart?

James, guess why I'm so happy today.

Because your skin is so soft and you smell so good?

No.

Why?

Because I really believe that you love me. Now my heart belongs to you.

I don't know.

Damn it. Where's that shirt.

NO!

Hey Bopper, ... since when does Leo Johnson call me at my parent's house?

Leo called you?

Yesterday. He was looking for you. He wanted to know where the other half of the money was.

What'd you tell him, Snake?

As far as I knew, he didn't have any of it yet. I thought the deal was we were supposed to give it to him today.

Yeah, well. I gave him half already.

When did you see him?

Hey, I saw him the other night, okay?

What night?

The night Laura died. I went to see Leo, cause I had this money burning a ten-thousand dollar hole in my pocket.

What about the other half?

It's in Laura's safety deposit box.

So you didn't get it back from her?

She was supposed to hand it over today. Then she went and checked out on us.

So how we gonna get that ten grand for Leo?

I don't know, Snake. Maybe we could sell light bulbs door-to-door.

Oh that's great, that's just ... that's just great. This isn't funny, Bobby.

I'm not laughing.

You know, we're lucky, we're lucky we're in jail, because you know what's gonna go down with Leo when we get out of here?

Shut up man. Don't mention one word about Leo Johnson, you do not know Leo Johnson.

Mom? Mom?

Oh, hi honey.

Mom, it's 10:30, why didn't you wake me? I was supposed to go down to the sherrif's office.

They called this morning and said they could wait until tomorrow to see you. Your father and I thought you needed your rest. You woke us crying in your sleep last night, do you remember?

No, really?

We feel so badly for you, we're so sorry.

Mom, it's so strange. I know I should be sad, and I am, part of me is, but its like ... its like I'm having the most beautiful dream and the most terrible nightmare all at once.

Your father said you went out last night to meet a boy named James Hurley. Does this have anything to do with him?

Can this be between you and me?

Of course it can.

James and Laura were seeing each other the last two months. I was the only one who knew about it. Mom, James was so good for her, you don't know how troubled Laura was. Last night, I had to see him we were the two closest people in the world to her. But I feel so bad now.

Why, angel?

Because we realized ... that all this time ... we were the ones falling in love. So I feel like I've betrayed my best friend ... ... and if its true, then why am I so happy?

Oh, honey.

You wanna see these guys ... separately or together.

No, we can see them together.

Okay. Hey Ed, how's that coconut?

Well its kind'a tender ... but my pride's hurt worse.

Ed, this is Special Agent Dale Cooper.

Pleasure. Any relation to James?

I'm his uncle ... and he works for my garage. His mother's out of town and I look after him when she's away. You fellas plan on holding him?

No, we can release him into your custody.

Let me understand is James being charged?

I had one small doubt which he cleared up for me. He didn't kill anybody. But you tell him to be careful because we're going to have to release Mike and Bobby today as well.

Will do.

Agent Cooper, I've got a call for you from a Mr. Albert Rosenfield, sounds like long distance.

Excuse me.

Sure.

It has that open air sound, you know, where it sounds like wind blowing, like wind blowing through trees.

Yes Albert.

Harry, I've been thinking about last night at the Roadhouse, and something's not right.

Yeah, when I first saw that bandage I thought maybe ol' Nadine got wind of you and Norma.

Harry, if Nadine got wind of me and Norma, I'd be playing harp for the Heavenly All-Stars.

Ain't that the truth.

I was there seeing Norma but I was also on my stakeout. Now I can remember Mike and Bobby grabbing Donna and I got up to walk over and I got all lightheaded. I was out on my feet before I got there. I don't even remember getting hit.

What do you mean you don't remember?

I'm pretty sure my beer was drugged. Jacques Renault was tending bar.

All ... Alright, Albert, bring the boys, you guys can have the body all day tomorrow. No, I can't do it, they're gonna put her in the ground on Monday. Albert listen, if you come up through Lewis Fork, I can recommend a place for lunch, the Lamplighter Inn. They've got a cherry pie there that'll kill ya'.

Hi, Nadine.

What are you doing here, Norma?

I might ask you the same question.

And I will tell you. I've gotten all new drapes for my house. Ed bought them for me yesterday at Gentlemen Jim's and we installed them together. They're a beige sheer. I was up all last night, do you know what I was doing?

No, I don't.

I was inventing a noiseless, completely silent drape runner. And do you know how it works, do you know what makes it work? The thing I thought of at four this morning when I was waiting for my husband to be released from intensive care?

Cotton balls. By god, those things'll be quiet now.

Did you have to post bail?

No, I had a talk with Harry there's no charge.

Mom still out of town?

Yeah, she's still out of town. Let's get out of here.

Gonna need a hand from the Bookhouse Boys. Somebody's gotta watch my back.

Already got it covered.

Hi, Mike, Bobby. Now before we get started, have you two fellas got your stories straight?

If we tell the truth, we don't have to get our stories straight.

Besides, the sheriff told us we're just in here for fighting and uh ... it was self-defense.

Right. Well, I guess you can go then.

Now?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, fellas ... one more thing.

Pray for the health and safety of James Hurley, because if anything happens to him, we're coming for you.

Sheriff? What are you sitting around for. We got places to go and people to see.

I think I'm gonna start studying medicine.

Why's that?

Cause I'm beginning to feel a bit like Dr. Watson.

On top of the morning to you, Pete.

Uhm, no, Josie, the expression is top of the morning ... and it's just barely morning.

Pete, I want to thank you for yesterday, for standing up to me with Catherine.

Forget it, Catherine was wrong yesterday, period.

Thank you anyway.

Hhellloooo.

Pete, its Harry. I got Agent Cooper with me. We're here to see Mrs. Packard.

Uhm ... I'll make a fresh pot of coffee.

Hi sheriff.

Mrs. Packard, Dale Cooper, FBI. You'll remember him from the town meeting from last night, I'm sure.

Pleased to meet you, ma'am.

Agent Cooper, you remember Pete Martell.

Sure, Pete.

You bet.

Uhh, can we offer you gentlemen a cup of joe?

Mrs. Packard, you said the magic word.

I'd love a cup, thanks.

Sure, I'll pour that for ya'. Uhh, Mr. Cooper, how do you take it?

Black as midnight on a moonless night.

Pretty black.

Please, sit down.

Mrs. Packard, I'll come straight to the point. Mrs. Packard, I understand that you'd hired Laura Palmer to come visit you twice a week to help you with your English, is that correct?

Yes.

When was the last time that you saw her?

Thursday afternoon, about the time the mill blew five.

That would be five o'clock?

Yes.

And when did she leave?

In an hour, when the lesson was finished. I didn't see her again.

How did she seem to you on Thursday afternoon?

Something was bothering her but we didn't have a heart-to-heart on it. Something she said, though, that stuck on my mind. She said, I think now, I understand how you feel about your husband's death.

Did she say what that was in reference to?

No, but after what happened to her, I can't help hearing it in my head ... like some haunting melody.

Mm-hmm.

Excuse me.

Certainly.

So Harry, how long have you been seeing her?

How did you know?

Body language.

Geez Louise... uh, not long, six weeks. Andrew died a year and a half ago.

Fellas don't drink that coffee. You'd never guess, there was a fish ... in the percolator. Sorry.

... yes, Catherine, I'm listening.

I just thought you ought to know what your sentimental good-will shenanigans cost us yesterday, you do know what shenanigans are, don't you?

Shutting down the mill cost us eighty-seven thousand dollars and change. Do you really think that would have made brother Andrew happy?

Jocelyn ... Mrs. Packard?

What is "shenanigans"?

Nonsense, mischief, often a deceitful or treacherous trick.

Why do you always have to rush off?

Its been over an hour.

There was a time when we'd used to take the whole afternoon.

In the sweetness of passing time, this hour will soon seem like a day.

Sing it to somebody else. I'm no peabrain chambermaid looking for a tumble in the broom closet.

Sorry, didn't mean to offend your delicate sensibilities?

Oh no, my mistake. I'd gotten used to our conducting business and pleasure.

Sweetheart, it's all the same to me.

Don't sweetheart me you old dog. I'm no schoolgirl either. What's the next step? Do we escalate?

We may not have to do anything. A few more local tragedies and Josie might just run the ol' mill into the ground all by herself.

The rate we're going its gonna be years before the mill's bankrupt. I don't want to wait any longer. Besides, my knothead husband may peek in the ledger and sniff out the creative arithmetic.

Maybe it's time to ... uh ... start a little fire.

Are you talking about business or pleasure?

I'm talking about the Packard Saw Mill.

Well, tri temper ira.

A stray spark ... one night...

... some night when Pete's off on a toot with Smokey the Bear.

Now I remember how all those hours turned into days.

Sarah, darling, I'm sorry to disturb you sweetheart ... but uhm ... Donna Hayward is here. Take this now. I'll send her in.

Try not to upset her.

Okay.

I don't know what I'm going to do? I miss her so much, you miss her?

Yes, I miss her so much.

I miss her so much ... I miss her so much ... I miss her so much.

Laura, oh Laura, my baby.

Oh Laura, my baby.

Sarah.

Leland, Leland.

So neither one of you saw Ronette after school that day.

That's right.

And as far as you know, she went to her after school job.

Yes, Horne's Department Store downtown.

What did she do at the department store?

She was uh, uh ... a salesgirl ... at the perfume counter.

She used to joke it was the sweetest smelling job she ever had.

Excuse me.

How many times have I asked you not to disturb the guests with this racket?

About four thousand.

Audrey, Julie tells me ... that uh ... you were in with the Norwegians just before they all suddenly decided en masse to return to the old country, without signing the contract. Is that true?

Yes.

You wouldn't have done or said anything that might have precipitated their evacuation, would you? I mean, I'm assuming that this was just a coincidence.

Daddy, I did go in there to check out that ridiculous smorgasbord, and while I was in there I happened to mention that I was sad.

About my dear, close friend Laura being brutally About what?

About my dear, close friend Laura being brutally murdered.

Do you realize the kind of money that your little performance just cost this family?

If you ever ... pull another stunt like that you are gonna be scrubbing bidets in a Bulgarian convent.

Oh, Daddy, I'm so afraid.

Laura died two days ago. I lost you years ago.

For what we are about to receive, may the lord make us truly thankful.

Amen.

Robert, I was hoping we'd have a chance to discuss the events of the past few days. Not necessarily the physical events themselves, but rather the thoughts and feelings surrounding.

Rebellion in a young man your age is a necessary fact of life, and, candidly, a sign of strength. In other words, Robert, I respect your rebellious nature. However, being your father, I am obligated to contain that fire of contrariness within the bounds established by society as well as those within our family structure.

Robert, I note your reluctance to enter in a dialogue with me, your father. There are times when silence is golden. Silence can be taken many ways, as a sign of intelligence the quieter we become, the more we hear...

Now I am a tolerant man, but my patience has its limits. To have his path made clear is the aspiration of every human being in our beclouded and tempestuous existence. Robert, you and I are going to work to make yours real clear.

We're here for you, Bobby.

Can I get you anything to go with that, Sheriff?

Agent Cooper here might want to try a slice of that pie.

Cherry pie?

Best in the tri-counties.

And could you ask Norma to stop by a second, Shelly?

Sure thing.

Nothing's a sure thing Shelly.

Damn, I still can't get the taste of that fish filtered coffee out of my mouth.

Me neither.

Shelly Johnson with a 'J'?

Mm-hmm, husband's a trucker, Leo. Minor rap sheet.

Log Lady?

Right.

Hi.

Can I ask her about her log?

Many have.

Evening, Harry.

Norma, like to have you meet Special Agent Dale Cooper.

Federal Bureau of Investigation.

Norma Jennings.

Mrs. Jennings, is it true that Laura Palmer used to help you with the Meals on Wheels program, delivering hot dinners to elderly shut-ins?

Yeah, Laura helped organize the program.

Do you have the names of the people on her route?

I could get them for you.

Would you please? And uh ... two more pieces of this incredible pie.

Okay.

Man-oh-man, you must have the metabolism of a bumblebee.

For your information, I heard you speaking about Laura Palmer?

Yes?

One day my log will have something to say about this. My Log saw something that night.

Really? What did it see?

Ask it.

I thought so.

Thanks, Norma. See you tomorrow.

Hi Leo, brought you some pie.

Where's my shirt?

What shirt?

My favorite blue shirt.

That's the second one you've lost this year! I'm going to teach you a lesson now, Shelly, about taking care of my property! That means making sure things aren't lost or damaged!

Hold on, please Leo.

This is gonna hurt you.

No.

No. No.

I'll get it.

Mom, Dad ... this is James, James Hurley.

How you do, James?

Nice to see you, sir ... Mrs. Hayward.

Very nice to meet you, James.

Well I hope you're hungry. Eileen's been cooking up a storm.

Yes, sir.

Would you like something to drink? We have some soft drinks and some fruit punch and some sparkling cider.

Ah, fruit punch. That'd be good, thank you.

I'll get it

Okay.

Uhm, why ... why don't you fellas sit down at the table and I'll ... I'll go check on the roast.

Here's your fruit punch.

Thanks, Donna.

I don't believe I know your parents, James.

No, sir. My dad died when I was ten and my mom ... travels a lot. She writes for the paper sometimes.

Ed Hurley down at the Gas Farm is James's uncle.

His wife is the lady with the patch?

Yes sir, that's my Aunt Nadine. She's a real character.

Will? Can you come give me a hand please?

Uh, excuse me.

We can talk after dinner.

It's good to see you.

It's good to see you, too.

That bastard.

First your girlfriend, then mine.

Too bad we can only kill him once.

Hey, what's up, doc? Its Laura Palmer in case you haven't guess. I'm making you another one of these tapes.

Which as you already know I've mailed it to you in one of the envelopes you gave me. It's Thursday the twenty-third, and I'm so bored ... actually I'm in kind'a of a weird mood. Doc, James is sweet ... but he's so dumb. I should've met you a long time ago Dr. Jacoby cause right now I can take just so much of sweet. I just know I'm going to get lost in those woods again tonight. I just know it. Remember me telling you about that mystery man. Well ...