Episode 28 : Miss Twin Peaks


TWIN PEAKS #28
(Episode 2.021)

by
Barry Pullman




Scanned by runningdog.
Original formatting duplicated as closely as possible. For clarification all duplicate pages removed. Special note: this is a faithful duplication that includes the original spelling and series related errors.



First Draft: February 5 ,1991
Second Draft/Dist. to Dept. Heads: February 8,1991
Revised/General Distribution: February 14, 1991 - Blue
Revised: February 14, 1991 - Pink
Revised: February 20, 1991 - Green
Revised: February 21, 1991 - Yellow
Revised: February 22, 1991 - Cherry



Lynch/Frost Productions, Inc.
7700 Balboa Boulevard
Van Nuys, CA 91406
(818) 909-7900




ACT ONE

FADE IN:

1. INT. WINDOM EARLE'S CABIN - DAY

LEO JOHNSON and MAJOR BRIGGS sit captive against a wall. Leo slowly looks around the room. Does so again. Apparently satisfied , he rises to his feet and moves until the ankle chain snaps him to a halt. Straining forward, he is able to lean over a table, and takes something from its drawer. He then returns to beside Briggs, who still looks very dazed, unconscious of his surroundings. Leo, with great effort, fits his new possession into the lock of Briggs's handcuffs. Briggs is released. But doesn't realize it. Leo shakes him.

LEO
Save Shelly ...

Leo is looking up at the wall with Shelly's photo. Enough internal fog clears for Briggs to realize he is now free. He gets up unsteadily and stumbles away. CLOSE ON the wall photos.

MATCH CUT TO:


2. SAME PHOTOS - LATER

SOUND of a door closing. Footsteps. EXPAND TO show WINDOM EARLE coming in to see Briggs is gone.

EARLE
Why, who in the world let Major Briggs loose, Leo? It
couldn't have been you, could it?

Leo cringes, expecting another shock. None comes.

EARLE
No, no punishment little Leo. It's to late for that to
do us any harm. And I have a new game for you.

He holds up a burlap bag. Something's moving inside.

CUT TO:


3. INT. DINER - DAY

Over by the kitchen, SHELLY and ANNIE are sorting silverware, when they're joined by NORMA, who carries over a tray of freshly baked pies.

NORMA
Here's our contribution to the Miss Twin Peaks Gala
Buffet. And I fully expect to see one of you up there
tonight in the winner's circle.

ANNIE
Dream on, Norma.

NORMA
Don't sell yourself short, kid. This is one of the biggest
days of the year for us and we need somebody up there
who deserves that title. Especially this year.

ANNIE
... Laura Palmer.

NORMA
A day of healing and coming together.

SHELLY
We could use more than a day.
(pause, then)
Norma, is it true they're going to honor you tonight?
Twentieth anniversary of when you won?

NORMA
(playful)
Hush.

SHELLY
If you entered you could win today.

NORMA
Listen to her, working on the judge already.

SHELLY
Since you brought it up ...

ANNIE
Good question: who are you going to vote for?

Ahelly and Annie put an arm around each other and present a united front.

ANNIE
Maybe they'll let you split your vote.

NORMA
(laughing)
We have a customer.

ANGLE ON DALE COOPER entering the diner. It's clear whose customer he is: to Shelly's intrigued glance, Annie walks over toward the counter.

COOPER
Looks like a staff meeting of the Double R brain trust.

ANNIE
We're trying to decide who's going to win tonight.

COOPER
No question about it. You are.

ANNIE
You're not exactly objective -

COOPER
I am completely objective.

ANNIE
(softly flirtatious)
I think you're not as objective as you think you are.

COOPER
Perhaps that's why it seems so important to me that we
kiss.

ANNIE
(affectionate, not shy)
You impetuous boy. We have an audience.

COOPER
I know this violates multiple laws of physics, but at his
moment, Annie, and I mean this quite literally... you are
the only person in the room.

Annie beams. They lean across the counter to kiss. Shelly and Norma look on, smile, look away.

CUT TO:


4. INT. GREAT NORTHERN - DAY

AUDREY HORNE stands pensively, her face half-lit by the fireplace glow. BEN HORNE enters, arms filled with books they nearly obscure him. Audrey manages a smile.

AUDREY
Hi, Daddy.

BEN
(pausing by the fire, nearly losing hold of a
tome)
Audrey. The most intelligent face I've seen all day. You
make the rest of us look like primates.

AUDREY
What's with all the books?

BEN
(listing each and every one)
The Koran, the Bhagavad-Gita, the Talmud, the Bible,
New and Old Testaments, the Tao-te-ching ... I have in
my arms those holy books that constitute the fundamental
framework of man's philosophies of good. Somewhere in
here are the answers I seek. I intend to read them, cover
to cover until find ...

Audrey's attention has wandered back to the fire. Ben Finally stops rambling, sees the sad expression on her face.

BEN
Listen to me, prattling on. It's Jack, isn't it?

AUDREY
He's only been gone a day. I ask myself how much will it
hurt next week?

BEN
Let me give you a piece of ageless wisdom culled from
these volumes: time heals all wounds.
(she starts to reply)
I know what it feels like. Believe me, I know. He'll be
back.

AUDREY
We barely had time to realize how we felt ...

BEN
But what you had was highly concentrated.

AUDREY
It's the concentrate they make concentrate from.
(sigh)
I'm afraid I'll never see him again.

BEN
Jack's a man of his word. If he said he'll be back, he'll be
back, I promise you.

AUDREY
(moved)
You can't promise. But thanks for wanting to. I actually
came in here to update you on my Seattle trip.

BEN
(closes the book)
Update away.

AUDREY
(slowly turning her mind to business)
The Packards are using Twin Peaks Savings and Loan to
funnel cash for the Ghostwood Project, but the bank's
keeping a very low profile. They don't want the bad
publicity.

BEN
Bad publicity is exactly what they're going to get.
Audrey, have you given any more thought to the Miss
Twin Peaks pageant?

AUDREY
Daddy, from the bottom of my heart, I don't want to be
the town bathing beauty.

BEN
Audrey, Miss Twin Peaks is the ultimate local forum. It
would be truly inspirational to have a winner with a
political sensibility that extends beyond makeup
strategies and recipes for cherry pie.
(the Horne twinkle)
And as you know, each contestant makes a speech to the
asembled town. This year's theme concerns our
immediate environment. And what we must do to
preserve it.

HOLD ON Audrey for a beat. Considering brand new strategies.

AUDREY
Maybe I'd better take a look through those books myself.

CUT TO:


5. INT. SHERIFF'S STATION - CONFERENCE ROOM

START ON the cave painting reproduced on the blackboard: a cluttered concentration of various symbols, stick figures, stars, hieroglyphs. PULL BACK to ANDY BRENNAN standing myopically close to this drawing, staring at it with his own personal brand of awe. Cooper and TRUMAN, looking sleepless, re-enter the room carrying their coffees.

COOPER
Has he taken his eyes off it yet?

TRUMAN
Not today.
(Andy's beat; moving on)
We've still got people out combing the forest for Major
Briggs.

COOPER
Harry, given their mutual connection to the Blue Book
Project, I'm afraid Earle may have targeted the Major.

TRUMAN
For what?

ANDY
Interesting.

They look over at Andy, who is still completely engrossed in the painting. Cooper and Truman are in proximity to the bonsai tree.

COOPER
I don't know yet. All of this appears to be flowing
together. Earle's been seeking access to the Black Lodge
as far back as 1965. This chess game may involve more
pieces than we'd begun to imagine. And then there's the
peculiar circumstances of Josie's death to consider.

TRUMAN
Consider them how?

COOPER
When Josie died ... I'm sorry I haven't mentioned this
before, Harry, but I had to take into account your mental
state -

TRUMAN
What is it?

COOPER
She was trembling with fear. Quaking, like an animal. I
might even venture a guess to say that it was fear that
killed her. And in the moment of her death ... I saw Bob.
As if he'd slipped in through a crevice in time. Upon
reflection, I believe there's a connection between his
appearance and Josie's fear. He was attracted by it. He
may even feed off it.

TRUMAN
You see any connection between Bob and the Black Lodge?

COOPER
I think it's where he comes from. I believe the Black
Lodge is the source of what you've traditionally referred
to here as the evil in the woods. If that's what Earle is
seeking, it's imperative that we find our way in before he
does. There's a source of power in that place far beyond
our ability to comprehend.

CUT TO:


6. INT. WINDOM EARLE'S CABIN

Windom Earle, listening in on his shortwave set, springs out of his chair in excitement.

EARLE
Eureka! Dale, I could kiss your pointy little head. It's
fear! It's fear, Leo, that's the key!
(begins packing one of his silver briefcases)
My favorite emotional state and all this time it's been
staring me in the kisser. Leo, it's marvelous, a
perfect fit. These night creatures that hover on the edge of
our nightmares are drawn to us when we radiate fear, it's
their bread and butter, a perfect symbiosis. And to gain
entrance to their realm, a simple offering, the suffering of
innocence, Oh, nature, perfect in design and aspect, you
do not disappoint. Leo, look lively, victory is at hand.
We know where the entrance is. We know when the lock
appears and now we hold the key in our hands.

He takes the photos down and packs them, then closes the suitcase. He lifts the other case.

EARLE
Forgive my hasty departure, dear one. But the time has
come to gather my beloved Queen and embark upon our
dark honeymoon. I haven't been this excited since I
punctured Caroline's aorta.
(beat)
Leo, we must share a final sentiment ...

We still cannot see Leo.

EARLE
During our time together in this verdant bower, I must
confess I've developed something of a fondness for you.
Sounding board, companion. Ever obedient and faithful.
An all-around "A" for effort, Leo. Though I'm still a
trifle miffed at your release of Major Briggs. But then
You'll have plenty of time to reflect upon that, won't you?
Goodbye, Leo. And good luck.

As he goes, we PAN DOWN to Leo, who is very tightly shackled. He is holding the end of a string taut in his mouth. We FOLLOW the string directly above his head and see that it is holding a large suspended plastic bag shut. Inside the bag are dozens of deadly spiders.

FADE OUT:

END ACT ONE




ACT TWO

FADE IN:

7. INT. ROADHOUSE - DAY

A line of Miss Twin Peaks contestants in black dance leotards rehearse the opening number. They include, amongst some faces we do not know, DONNA, Shelly, Annie, LUCY, Audrey, NADINE and LANA. Standing before them, sleeves up, a cigarette bobbing in his mouth, is the impresario and choreographer, the ubiquitous TIM PINKLE. The piano player, TRUDY, jumps back into a show tune and the girls begin their chorus line dance.

PINKLE
Okay, one and two.. and three...
(doing the moves with them)
Step forward one and over and two....

The girls continue on their own as Pinkle steps over to a table and takes a large pull off his submarine sandwich.

PINKLE
(through his chewing)
Let the mood carry you... don't be afraid to be
vulnerable... and give me just a little more leg...
(beat)
Now bend forward, like sap in the... er, sapling in the
wind... a little further... very good... hold it for me... then
up... and out.

The song ends. Audrey eyes their trainer warily.

PINKLE
You girls'll need a lot of work...
(belch)
...but if you stay with it, I think I can make dancers out of
you.
(taking her aside)
Especially you, Miss Horne.

AUDREY
What kind of dance was this, Mr. Pinkle?

PINKLE
A nature dance, my little friend. A celebration.

AUDREY
What are we celebrating when you have us all bending
over?

PINKLE
Don't question the vision of your choreographer. You're
but a petal on the rose.

DONNA
(aside to Shelly)
Later it'll be the pistils and the stamens.

LUCY
Pistils and what?

SHELLY
(ruefully)
Don't ask.

NADINE
We're on stage at last. That's all that matters.

ANNIE
This is the weirdest thing I have ever seen.

LANA
I think it't just the greatest thing that ever happened.

PINKLE
(moving back)
Once more with feeling, girls. I only have three things to
say: energy, energy, energy.

ANGLE OFF them over to a booth where the three judges, Norma, TREMAYNE, and Milford sit watching, and discussing.

TREMAYNE
If talent's to be any part of our deliberations, we'd best
close our eyes until Pinkie's done wrecking havoc.

MILFORD
(entranced)
I love a chorus line.

NORMA
(beat, a look at them both)
If we can focus here for a second, I have to get back to the
diner:
(back to the printed agenda of their discussion)
"What qualities do we think best examplify Miss Twin
Peaks?"

MILFORD
Beauty and power.
(drawing their look)
That's how I like 'em.

TREMAYNE
Poise. And... God help us... sophistication and breeding.

NORMA
I think a major factor should be originality.

TREMAYNE
Wouldn't that fall under talent?

MILFORD
Always nice when it does.

TREMAYNE.
Personally, I've always been big on style.

NORMA
That should be enough to work with. I'll make up the
score sheets this afternoon. I've really got to go.

TREMAYNE
Terrific.

She goes. Milford eyes Tremayne. Business time.

MILFORD
Score sheets, shmore sheets. We're set on this, aren't we
Dick?

TREMAYNE
Set on ... ?

MILFORD
She looks lovely today, doesn't she?

TREMAYNE
If looks could kill ...
(off Milford's hrumph)
Sorry Insensitive of me.

MILFORD
She'd make a great Miss Twin Peaks.

TREMAYNE
Wouldn't she just. But my vote is of course something I
hold sacred and will exercise with the greatest care and
consideration. As you well know, being a man who's been
charged with the awesome responsibility of running this
town.

MILFORD
(Still negotiating, voice lowered)
Alright, I can give you three hundred, but not a penny
more.

Lana, as if on cue (and quite possibly so), comes over. Milford signals her over Tremayne's shoulder.

LANA
(silkenly)
Hello, Dick. We're on break.

TREMAYNE
H-hi, Lana.

LANA
Do you think you could help me find something in the
storage room?

TREMAYNE
The storage room.

LANA
We're missing a very important prop.

The Mayor signals his approval to Lana.

CUT TO:


8. INT. STORAGE ROOM

All light comes from the hall. Two silhouettes enter. She shuts the door, closing them into DARKNESS.

TREMAYNE
I'm having trouble.

LANA
Just flick it.

A moment. His flashlight goes on. Its light nervously scans the little room.

TREMAYNE
Now, what exactly did you need to find?

The flashlight goes off

TREMAYNE
Lana?...

LANA
Oh, did I do that?

The flashlight goes back on.

TREMAYNE
(a wreck)
What are we looking for?

LANA
I don't know the exact, technical name for it..

TREMAYNE
Well, does anything in here look like it ...

The flashlight goes off.

LANA
I think this might be it.

TREMAYNE
Oh. By George, I think you've got it.

CUT TO:


10. INT. GREAT NORTHERN/COOPER'S ROOM - DAY

Cooper sits crosslegged on the floor, perfectly still, eyes closed: he is deep in meditation.

Slowly he opens his eyes. Holds for a moment, takes a deep breath. Smiles broadly. Still crosslegged, he reaches over and flips on his tape recorder.

COOPER
Diane, it's 1:15 PM. I've just concluded my second
meditations of the day in lieu of sleep. I am completely
refreshed and struck again by the realization that we all
live at a fraction of our potential. We've been working
round the clock on the cave hieroglyph. I know the
answer is in that crude etching and I am now convinced
that Windom Earle is searching for the same thing we are,
and for diametrically opposite reasons. If I'm correct in
my assumptions about the power of that unholy place ...
God help us if he gets there first.

Cooper pauses, clearly shaken by the implication. Then, quietly:

COOPER
I want to make specific mention of Annie Blackburne.
Diane, she is a completely original human being. Her
responses are as pure as a child's. To be honest, I haven't
felt this way about anyone since Caroline. It's taken
meeting someone like Annie to realize how gray my life
has been since Caroline's death, how cold and solitary -

A knock on the door. Cooper rises to answer it.

COOPER (CONTINUED)
Although occasionally there is something to be said for
solitude.

He flips off the recorder, opens the door. Annie stands before him. He admits her.

COOPER
You have nearly perfect timing.

ANNIE
That's not what our choreographer says.

COOPER
What can I do for you, Annie?

ANNIE
I have to give a speech in six hours. I haven't written a
word and I don't have a thought in my hand. I am in a
complete, sweaty-palmed panic and I needed to talk to
someone, namely you.

COOPER
What's the topic?

ANNIE
"What You Can Do to Save Our Local Forests." So what
am I supposed to do, stand up there like a deranged
Barbie Doll, "make sure you're campfires are completely
out, kind of like my brain."

COOPER
You're I terrified of public speaking.

ANNIE
Yes.

COOPER
(amused)
Our forests need saving because of the way people regard
them.

ANNIE
Expendable.

COOPER
If the Ghostwood development were going to cost
thousands of lives, would it have even the slightest chance
of going forward?

ANNIE
Trees aren't the same as people ...
(answering herself)
But they're alive.

COOPER
(extending the metaphor)
Your forest ... is beautiful and very peaceful.

ANNIE
Part of it's been damaged. I've tried to replant, but
nothing's taken root ...

They kiss. Tentatively at first. Then with greater fervor.

COOPER
Let's not talk anymore about trees.

ANNIE
To be honest, that's not really why I'm here. The speech.

COOPER
The way I feel transcends metaphor. Obliterates it.

ANNIE
How do you feel? I mean, usually. I only ask because ...
well, actually, I want to know.

COOPER
(an analytic detour)
My habit is to construct and control my emotions with
great precision. Everything ordered and in its place.
What I am feeling now has steamrollered every barrier
I've ever, if you'll excuse the expression, erected. I don't
know what I know or don't know. I only know ...
(happily jumbled, he sighs)
I want to make love with you, Annie. That's all I know.

ANNIE
Good.

COOPER
Do you feel the same...?

Annie begins to unbutton her blouse. A gentle ritual.

ANNIE
(beat, she removes her blouse)
I am eager ... and full of grace.

COOPER
That's good enough for me.

Cooper reaches for her. HOLD ON Annie and Cooper for a long beat. As they begin to make love.

CUT TO:


9. INT. HURLEY HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY

START ON a standing screen in the dark living room of the Hurley house. Slides projected upon it. just now: Nadine in wrestling garb, slamming some hapless opponent to the mat.

NADINE'S VOICE
... and this is me with last year's regional champion from
Yakima. He was cute. But a little slow. Next!

The slide changes. Nadine now appears atop a dazed opponent, a referee counts beside them, about to slam his hand on the to mat to signal "pin".

ANOTHER ANGLE

NADINE seated, peers proudly at the screen. MIKE, ED, and Norma are arrayed on the couch behind her. All equally uncomfortable, but determined to play along. DR. JACOBY runs the slide projector. Nadine continues, blissfully unaware:

NADINE
And this is me with Brock Farmington, Triple A
champion from Spokane. Unbeaten in eighty previous
matches, superior upper body strength, thighs like bridge
supports...
(a little sigh, sometimes it's too easy)
I pinned him in a minute five. Next!

One last slide. Nadine with an armful of trophies.

NADINE
And this is me with all the stuff I won.

Nadine turns to the couch, beams, curtsies. Ed leads the others in polite applause.

NORMA
Congratulations, Nadine.

MIKE
(the enthusiasm of the sexually sated)
Way to go, babe!

Nadine leaps upon the couch next to Mike, gives him a big kiss. She takes his hand, holds it close to her breast. Jacoby turns on the lights, addresses the resulting foursome.

JACOBY
(to all, but to Nadine in particular)
Thank you, Nadine. You're probably wondering why
we're gathered here today. I have found that when a
couple contemplates divor -
(catches himself)
- er, breaking up, it is sometimes easier to talk about our
feelings in the company of others. Nadine, maybe you
would like to begin.

NADINE
Okay. Uhm. I guess it all started when I noticed Mike's
buns in the hall at school.

JACOBY
And... how are you feeling now?

NADINE
(toying with Mike's hand as she speaks)
Well. A little guilty, I guess. I mean Mike and I are
hot. Miss Twin Peaks is tonight and Mr. Pinkle thinks
I'm a show business natural. I mean because I'm so happy.
I worry about Ed being sad.

JACOBY
Ed, are you sad?

ED
(god knows he's confused)
No.

JACOBY
Nadine. How does that make you feel?

NADINE
It makes me feel like maybe it's time for us to get on
with our lives the best way we know how. And leave the
past behind us.

It's a startlingly clear-headed pronouncement. Nadine gives Mike's hand a brief, affirming kiss. Jacoby nods approval. He turns to Ed, prods:

JACOBY
Ed? Do you have something you would like to tell
Nadine?

ED
(clears throat, takes the plunge)
Nadine. Norma and I are planning to get married.

A beat. All regard Nadine. Wait for her reaction. Finally:

NADINE
Really? That's wonderful, Eddie. 'Cause Mike and me
are getting married too.

That's news to Mike. Nadine squeezes his hand with superhuman strength. Mike's mouth opens in a silent scream. Then he flat out HOWLS.

CUT TO:


11. EXT. COUNTRYSIDE

START CLOSE ON dirtied shoes, footsteps stumbling up a ridge with great difficulty. Up a step, then another, then sliding down: the attempt to climb by a body that must struggle just to keep balance.

12. INT. RANGER TRUCK

HAWK drives a country road. SHOT ROTATES away from him until we look out the windshield, where SUDDENLY.

A MAN steps out into the road, groping, arms extended skyward; he has no sense he's stepping out in front of a vehicle. As Hawk CAREENS and SLAMS on the BRAKES, he watches the zombi-like face of Major Briggs passing by.

Hawk pulls over gets out of the jeep and walks over to Briggs, who clearly does not recognize him.

FADE OUT:

END ACT TWO




ACT THREE

FADE IN:

13. INT. SHERIFF'S OFFICE - DAY

Still very disoriented, Briggs sits across from Truman as Cooper rushes in.

TRUMAN
I waited for you.

COOPER
Thanks, Harry.

TRUMAN
Not that he's too talkative.

A beat on Briggs.

TRUMAN
He checks out okay physically. Doc ran a blood test ...

COOPER
He's been shot up with haloperidol.

TRUMAN
Right.

COOPER
Garland ... did Windom Earle do this to you?

BRIGGS
Garland. What an odd name ...

COOPER
Was it Windom Earle?

BRIGGS
(shrugs)
He was God, I suppose.

COOPER
Where did he take you?

BRIGGS
The woods?

COOPER
Can you be a little more specific?

BRIGGS
They were lovely, dark and deep.
(to Cooper)
The King of Romania was unable to attend.

Hopeless. Cooper and Truman pull away.

COOPER
This might take awhile.

TRUMAN
How much time have we got?

Andy enters, and without a word, walks straight past Briggs and up to the cave painting.

COOPER
Not enough. Let's leave him in here with us. Maybe
something will bubble up. Harry, we're in trouble. If the
door to the Black Lodge does exist, it probably exists
only in time. An object like a door normally exists at a
point in space and time. By way of contrast, a shooting
star exists for us at a point in time over a continuim in
space, but looking at it from the star's point of view
might be an entirely different experience.

TRUMAN
Sorry, you lost me.

COOPER
If we're not at the right place at exactly the right time
we'll never find the way in.

ANDY
Sheriff?...

They both look over at Andy, who remains fixated on the drawing.

ANDY
Could the 4H Club have anything to do with all this?

TRUMAN
Doubtful, Andy.

Andy continues staring. Cooper stands.

COOPER
(a touch awkward)
Harry, you'll have to excuse me. I left someone waiting
in the other room.

TRUMAN
(a glance at Andy)
We'll be here.

CUT TO:


14. EXT. SHERIFF'S STATION - DAY

Cooper and Annie exit, taking slow steps out into the day.

COOPER
I'm sorry about this. I mean work. Having to be here
instead of ... you know ...

ANNIE
Guess this isn't a good day to fall in love.

COOPER
It's a great day. I'm just not used to feeling such discord
between my professional and personal concerns.

ANNIE
I'm not used to feeling what I feel right now either.

COOPER
Like a force of nature.

ANNIE
I think I may have found the inspiration for my speech.

COOPER
I think we may have found a lot of things ...

ANNIE
Don't say too much. You don't want to jinx us.

COOPER
No. I just don't want to lose you.

ANNIE
(she kisses him)
Go back to work. My heart will start beating again when
next we meet. My knight in shining armor.

He smiles. Watches her go. Hooked.

CUT TO:


15. INT. BLUE PINE LODGE - DAY

The room is spread with power tools, hand tools, gloves, soldering irons. PAN UP to a counter converted into a work bench, and on to a vice containing a small black box. Standing around the clamp are CATHERINE MARTELL, ANDREW PACKARD and PETE MARTELL.

ANDREW
This has to be the last one. Look at it.

CATHERINE
I can't take any more of this. Boxes inside boxes...
What's in there could be worth a fortune.

ANDREW
Maybe it's not a box at all. Maybe it's just a block of
stainless steel.
(beat)
Eckhardt's last little joke.

PETE
Be a good one.

CATHERINE
(rolling her eyes)
Let's channel some of that high wit into the job.

PETE
I just don't believe a little crumb like that can stand up to
this Cram Jack All Duty Vise.

ANDREW
Again?

PETE
Again.

Pete sits up on the counter, Andrew standing beside him. Pete locks his hands across the vise's leverage bar. Andrew leans against his brother-in-law, both hands pulling down on his shoulders.

PETE (CONT'D)
On three. One.. two... three.

Pete paratroops down off the counter, with his whole body weight against the vise bar. Andrew yanks down on his shoulders, but one hand slips free, causing Pete's vise grip to loosen for an instant, sending both Pete and Andrew to the floor behind the counter. Andrew stands back up and yanks the box free of the vise and throws it to the floor in front of Catherine.

ANDREW
(yelling)
The infernal box. It's heinous. It is slowly driving me
mad.

CATHERINE
Oh, good, Andrew, perhaps if you yell long and loud
enough it will open by itself.

ANDREW
Do you have any better ideas, Catherine?

Pete pulls himself back up from behind the counter using the handle of the vise for balance. He comes back down on the vise, which slams shut against Andrew's hand.

Packard SCREAMS.

PETE
Sorry, Andrew.

Pete loosens the vise, freeing Andrew's left hand. The man is in indescribable pain. He looks down at his hand. Pain instantly turns to rage. He pulls out a gun we didn't know he had. Pete's eyes bug out.

CATHERINE
What are you doing? He didn't mean it...

ANDREW
Where's it?

CATHERINE
Where's what?

ANDREW
There it is.

The tiny box. Halfway across the room. Andrew fires. It flies. He fires again. And again.

CATHERINE
Andrew, no!!

And again. And again. He puts the gun down.

ANDREW
Damned boxes.

Pete comes out from behind the counter and walks over to the far corner of the room, into which are lodged the box's remains.

PETE
Well, look at this.

They come over. Three people are bending into a tiny comer. They rise. In Pete's hand is a key.

ANDREW
A key.

CATHERINE
Where there's a key, there's a lock.

ANDREW
This should be kept safe.

CATHERINE
(with a suspicious look at Andrew)
And in plain sight.

PETE
You two don't trust each other?

A look at Pete. Then each other.

CATHERINE
Of course we do.

ANDREW
Like brother and sister.

CATHERINE
How about here.
(to the desk)
Under this bell jar. On the desk. In plain sight.

ANDREW
Splendid.
(she places it there)
So ... we have a key.

CATHERINE
Yes. We do.

She sits down beside the desk. Andrew sits on the other side of the desk. A beat. They'll wait each other out. Pete, watching all this, shakes his head and walks out.

CUT TO:


16. INT. HAYWARD HOUSE - DAY

Donna comes down the stairs in a black sequined gown, hair and makeup meticulously done. She enters the living room where Doc and EILEEN HAYWARD gaze at her proudly.

DOC
(a trace wistful)
You look truly beautiful.

EILEEN
Read us your speech.

But Donna's expression reveals a completely different agenda.

DONNA
Right now, I'd prefer to talk about the truth.

EILEEN
What truth is there?

DONNA
Something is going on between you and Ben Home. I
want to know what it is.

DOC
Donna, don't talk to your mother that way -

DONNA
This isn't child-parent. This is eye-to-eye. I want to
know. Now.

EILEEN
Donna, I understand your feelings. There are things you
have to trust in. You're young and you don't see any
limitations -

DONNA
I now the limitations of lies. I know you raised me to
tell the truth. I expect the same from you.

Pause. Eileen and Doc look at each other, agonized.

DONNA
If you won't tell me, I'll have to find out what I want
from Ben Horne.

EILEEN
No ...

DONNA
Then tell me.

Silence. Eileen looks away.

DONNA
Understand. This is your choice, not mine. And you've
made it.

She heads for the door. Doc comes to his feet.

DOC
Donna -

But she is gone.

CUT TO:


17. INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY

Deputy Andy brings fresh coffee into the conference room. He pauses to resume his contemplation of the cave painting on the blackboard. Andy sets down the coffee, moves even closer. Truman and Cooper confer nearby. Cooper has surrounded himself with various books and charts. He finds something.

COOPER
Andy, take a look at this: it's what you mistook for the
4H Club; the 4 and H are astrological symbols -

ANDY
You mean like planets?

COOPER
Yes, they're the symbols for Jupiter and Saturn. Some of
these other symbols are planetary as well. What this
paticular part of the puzzle seems to signify is a specific
planetary position: Jupiter and Saturn in conjunction.

TRUMAN
What's that supposed to mean?

COOPER
Historically, when Jupiter and Saturn are conjunct, large
shifts occur in power and fortune. Jupiter is expansive in
its influence; Saturn, contractive. Conjunction suggests a
state of concentration, intensification. What we have
indicated here is something potentially explosive.
(mind racing)
Taking into account the earth's rotation, planetary
positions are specific down to the last second ...
(searching through books)
... and according to the Ephemeris, taking the other
planetary positions on the wall into account, this
conjunction will occur in our part of the world ...

His finger stops. Cooper looks up. Surprised, concerned.

TRUMAN
When?

COOPER
Tonight. At midnight.
(an intuitive leap)
My God, Harry, the door to the Lodge, that's when it
opens. That's what the puzzle's telling us.

BRIGGS
Protect ... the Queen ...

COOPER
(hyperfocused)
If the door is open tonight then something else here must
tell us where. We need to decipher the rest of this,
immediately. Think, anything that looks familiar ...

They look intently.

BRIGGS
Fear and love ... open the doors.

COOPER
What did he say?

TRUMAN
He said "Fear and love open the doors."

COOPER
(another flash)
Two Lodges, two doors. Fear opens one, the Black.
Love, the other.

TRUMAN
What does that mean?

COOPER
I don't know exactly. It just came to me.

BRIGGS
(a looped smile: Hamlet)
"How does the Queen?"

Cooper and Truman exchange looks. Cooper's on a roll.

COOPER
Of course: the Queen.

TRUMAN
Romania?

COOPER
No. The chess game's final piece. Follow my thinking.
Earle takes the Queen ...

TRUMAN
The game's not over until you take the King.

COOPER
That depends on where he takes her. Maybe he takes her to
the doorway when it opens ...

TRUMAN
Which Queen are we talking about?

Andy, as if psychically awakened by this climate of collective revelation, suddenly goes dumbstruck. For the first time, he looks away from the board, over at Cooper and Truman.

ANDY
Agent Cooper ...

COOPER
Not now, Andy. Tonight ... the Queen. But who? A
Queen. A crown ...

ANDY
Agent Cooper?

COOPER
Miss twin Peaks.

TRUMAN
Oh my God.

The two of them spring from their seats.

ANDY
Agent Cooper, please -

Andy comes over, crying to get their attention, and knocks over the Bonsai plant. Truman respectfully kneels to pick it up, and discovers...

TRUMAN
This plant... has a bug.

He pulls out and holds up the electronic device.

COOPER
This Bonsai wasn't from Josie. It was from Earle.
(doomsday pronouncement)
He's way ahead of us, Harry. And we've been working for
Earle from the start. What time does that conest start?

TRUMAN
Any minute.

COOPER
We've got to hurry.

They bolt for the door. Andy, ignored, calls after.

ANDY
Agent Cooper!!

FADE OUT:

END ACT THREE




ACT FOUR

FADE IN:

18. INT. ROADHOUSE/STAGE - NIGHT

BEGIN ON the exuberant, concentrated expression of Nadine as she lands to the downbeat. TRACKING SHOT of the other contestants, who all form a chorus line in their leotards and dancing pumps. A small band plays the opening number as we INTERCUT amongst the girls: Audrey's detachment, Shelly's enjoyment, Donna's preoccupation, Annie's awkwardness, Lana's sultriness, Lucy's disorientation, Nadine's hopefulness, and the enthusiastic, nameless faces of others. INTERCUT through the audience, showing the three judges, Norma, Tremayne and Milford, the troubled Doc Hayward, the inebriated Pinkle, then finally PANNING OVER to where the LOG LADY stands, watching.

The number ends to generous applause. Doc Hayward pauses in the wings, staring at Donna, hoping garner her attention. But she stares ahead, will not meet his gaze. Hayward steps to the microphone. He's got a lot on his mind.

DOC
Good evening, everyone. Hope you've all had a good
holiday. And welcome to the Miss Twin Peaks Pageant,
in which one of these lovely, talented young citizens will
be crowned Miss Twin Peaks.
(applause)
Now, commencing the talent segment of the show is Lucy
Moran.

Lucy steps forward, to the piano intro of Off Broadway. She looks awkwardly into the audience, shrugs, then breaks into a jazz dance that is shockingly good. The stagelight narrows to enclose her.

Backstage, BOBBY BRIGGS, tomorrow's superstar, wanders about in a loose-fitting suit scoping out the crowd for possible opportunity. Not much. At a distance, he sees the Log Lady and shakes his head.

BOBBY
Strictly small-town.

Turning his head in another direction, he then sees... the Log Lady. He quickly turns back to the prior spot: no one. Thoroughly confused, he marches on over to the second Log lady, who is standing off in a corner, working quietly and efficiently at a power junction box.

BOBBY
Excuse me.. did you invite family to this thing?

The question is met with a deep stare. Suddenly the Log Lady hefts her log, CRACKS Bobby across the head, knocking him over, and out. CLOSE ON the 'Log Lady' until we can see, behind her glasses, the eyes of Windom Earle.

CUT TO:


19. STAGE - LATER

Doc Hayward returning to the microphone.

DOC
Our next entry is Lana Budding-Milford, who will
perform a dance of..
(checking his card)
... contortionistic Jazz exotica. Lana?

Lana steps forward, to some recorded sensual Near East rhythms.

CUT TO:


20. INT. ROADHOUSE ENTRANCE

Cooper and Truman hurry into the Roadhouse. Already planning, eyes scanning the crowd for trouble.

TRUMAN
We're pulling in deputies from all over to surround the
place. They should be here within the hour.

COOPER
It's essential that whoever wins this contest receive full
police protection: 24-hour guard, house surveillance,
everything.

TRUMAN
Soon as she's announced.

Truman heads one way, Cooper the other. HOLD SHOT as Andy now arrives, frustrated.

ANDY
Agent Cooper...

CUT TO:


21. STAGE

... as Lana swings into the beginning of some overpowering rhythm stretches.

INTERCUT:


22. AUDIENCE REACTIONS

Hawk and Andy stand in awe of this exhibition. Trying to follow Lana's movement, their heads slowly, simultaneously tip in opposite directions.

In the judge's booth, Tremayne's mouth hangs open. Milford leans in close to him.

MILFORD
That, my friend, is an artist.

Tremayne is close to tears. PAN over to Norma, forehead in hand.

CUT TO:


23. AUDIENCE - LATER

Cooper moves carefully through the crowd, eyes right and left. Then he pauses, looks up. And spots a catwalk overhead. He pauses to wonder. Then turns his eyes back to the stage.

DISSOLVE TO:


24. STAGE - LATER

Audrey in the middle of her pageant theme speech.

AUDREY
There is only one way to save a forest, an idea, or
anything of value: and that is by refusing to stand by and
watch it die. There is a law of nature which is more
fundamental to life than the laws of man. And when
something you care about is in danger, you must act to
save it, or lose it forever.
(beat)
And that is what I, as Miss Twin Peaks or as Audrey
Horne, intend to do.

Applause.

CUT TO:


25. BACKSTAGE

Andy, continuing his search for Cooper, happens upon the still disguised Earle.

ANDY
Hello, Miss Log Lady.

No reply. Earle is just hoping he'll go away.

ANDY
Have you or your log seen Agent Cooper? I've got to find
him.

LOG LADY (EARLE)
(murmurs)
No.

ANDY
What was that?

LOG LADY (EARLE)
(hoarsely)
NO.

ANDY
Oh. Sorry. It's just that I've got to find Agent Cooper as
soon as possible. Maybe you could ask your log to be
extra, on guard ...

The Log Lady/Earle stomps away. Andy looks after, puzzled, frustrated. Something's not quite right. He spots someone across the room.

ANDY
(back to the races)
Agent Cooper.

Andy races off. CAMERA REMAINS. And reveals what Andy just missed. A siren horn attached to the backstage wall, new wiring, a timing device. Carefully installed by Windom Earle.

CUT TO:


26. STAGE - LATER

Annie giving her speech.

ANNIE
... and to illustrate my point, I'd like to read these words
from Chief Seattle, leader of the Suquamish tribe:
"Your dead... are soon forgotten and never return. Our
dead never forget the beautiful world that gave them
being. They still love its verdant valleys, its murmuring
rivers, its magnificent mountains, sequestered vales and
verdant lined lakes and bay and even yearn in tender, fond
affection over the lonely hearted living, and often return
from the Happy Hunting Ground to visit, guide, console
and comfort them."

A hush has fallen over the crowd. She folds up her paper.

27. CUTAWAY - CATWALK

Windom Earle, now undisguised, darts along the catwalk overhead. He attaches another device to a sandbag line, sets the timer. That's when Annie's voice catches his attention from below. Earle pauses, peers down at her with rapt expression.

28. BACK TO SCENE

ANNIE
Why have we all lost touch with this beauty? We tell
ourselves the world is not alive so that we won't feel its
pain. But instead we feel it all the more. Maybe saving a
forest starts with preserving the little feelings that die
inside us every day. Those parts of ourselves we deny.
Because if that interior land is not honored, then neither
will we honor the land we walk. Thank you very much.

She walks off to a salvo of applause. INTERCUT to show Cooper, who has been conferring
with a deputy, pausing to watch her exit with evident emotion. And Tremayne, who looks
swept away, and finally ... Windom Earle, in the catwalks above.

INTERCUT:


29. EARLE'S POV

His careful psychopathic eye SCANS the row of ladies, pausing a moment on Shelly; then Donna, and Audrey. We then PAN over to, and HOLD on, Annie.

30. BACK TO SCENE

Doc Hayward walks back on the stage.

DOC
Thanks to our contestants. The balloting will now
commence and we will then announce our winner.

CUT TO:


31. BACKSTAGE

Lucy has succeeded in pulling aside Andy and Tremayne.

LUCY
Have you both forgotten what day this is?

The two men look at each other. The answer seems too obvious.

ANDY
Miss Twin Peaks Day?

LUCY
Today is the day my unborn child receives a father

TREMAYNE
It was right on the tip of my tongue.

LUCY
I have decided that regardless of which individual is
biologically responsible ...
(looking into Tremayne)
... that I want Andy to be the father of my child.

Both men attempt to digest this. Tremayne is tremendously relieved.

ANDY
Really?

LUCY
I'm sorry, Dick, but I have to do what's best for little
what's his name.

TREMAYNE
Not at all. A sound choice. Heartiest congratulations,
Andrew. Now if you'll excuse me, I do have a vote to
cast myself ...
(his signature smile)
Here's to the children.

He goes. Not quite the moment Lucy expected. She glares after him.

LUCY
Don't sound so disappointed.

ANDY
(remembering)
My God Lucy, I am so honored you made this decision
and I promise I will be a great father, but right now, I
have to find Agent Cooper.

He runs off. Lucy remains standing there.

LUCY
Men.

CUT TO:


32. ANOTHER PART OF BACKSTAGE

Donna searches for, spots and approaches Ben Horne. Her emotions are near the breaking point.

DONNA
I want to know what's going on between you and my
mother.

BEN
(sincere, aware of others looking on)
Donna, I believe the wisest course would be for all of us
to sit down together and talk this out.

DONNA
NO.

BEN
(trying to comfort)
Donna -

DONNA
Old pictures and Horne bearer bonds in the attic. Love
letters to my mom.

BEN (overlapping)
Donna, I want to tell you the truth. I want to do the right
thing -

DONNA
A birth certificate with no father's name on it. What the
hell is going on, Mr. Horne? Why won't anyone tell me
the truth?!?

Tears form in Ben's eyes. Stunned, silent, overcome. He reaches for her. At that moment she, knows.

BEN
Donna your mother and I ...

DONNA
Oh God. You're my father.

Donna runs away. Ben calls after, he doesn't care who hears.

BEN
Donna.

CUT TO:


33. STAGE

The girls stand in a line back near the curtain as Doc Hayward speaks into the microphone.

DOC
It's now time to make the announcement. The winner of
the contest and our new Miss Twin Peaks, is ...
(opens a paper and reads)
Annie Blackburne.

Congratulatory screams of other contestants, who now hug the startled Annie. On the floor, the crowd reacts with generous applause. Cooper freezes, understands the danger she is in. Alert, he looks about the Roadhouse, determined to protect. Cooper remembers the catwalk, his premonition. He looks up. Someone is standing in the shadows overhead. Windom Earle. Cooper leaps forward. Meanwhile, an uproar from the judge's booth. Mayor Milford.

MILFORD
This is an outrage. She's been living in this town for about
fifteen minutes!
(to Tremayne)
What the hell got into you?

TREMAYNE
(very nearly genuine)
She gave a beautiful speech, inherent in her message were
words even the most craven among us can ill afford to
ignore -

MILFORD
She stole half of it off a dead Indian, she plagiarized that
speech -

NORMA
She didn't plagiarize, she quoted.

MILFORD
You voted for your own sister!

NORMA
And you voted for your girl friend!

34. ON THE CATWALK

Cooper climbs up to the catwalk, hurls himself atop it. He draws his gun, looks ahead. Windom Earle stands at the other end, grinning from ear to ear. As the pandemonium continues below:

COOPER
Windom. Don't move.

Cooper takes careful steps along the catwalk, gun aimed at Earle's chest. Looking out for traps, deadly surprises. Oddly, Earle says nothing, merely grins. A ghoulish apparition positioned in the far shadows.

EARLE
Dear heart. You are, if nothing else, consistent. As you
have no doubt realized, our little game of four-
dimmensional chess has concluded. And once, dear,
dim, Dale - you have left your Queen unprotected.
(a manic giggle)
Forgive me. I amuse myself. You see, twenty years ago I
made a promise. And tonight, I keep it ... in the Black
Lodge.
(whispered, antic)
Farewell. I must be going.

Earle holds up his arms to conduct an invisible orchestra. Then he slashes downward - and SUDDENLY the lights go out. MUTED SOUNDS of little explosives going off: smoke bombs. A COLORED STROBE LIGHT begins flashing, exposing in pulsations the growing pall of smoke. A SIREN then starts wailing through the room. Screams erupt in concordance, people are now scurrying about in panic. On the catwalk, Cooper races forward, lights flashing, smoke obscuring... only to find that Windom Earle is gone. On stage, pandemonium, the girls huddle in fright. A sandbag falls from above, LANDS on Nadine's head. More pandemonium, screams. CLOSE ON Annie, her own acute fear. Suddenly she hears a voice in the dark.

VOICE
(supernaturally gentle)
Don't be afraid. Let me help you.

A hand reaches out to her. Annie takes it, tentative. Once in its grasp, Annie is JERKED forward. Face to face with her captor, Windom Earle. Annie tries to SCREAM. Earle whips her away into the dark.

Cooper leaps down from the catwalk, now searching for Annie as well as his nemesis.

COOPER
ANNIE!

Suddenly: the siren STOPS. Chaos everywhere. Cooper fights his way through the crowd, eyes searching. Annie is nowhere in sight.

Truman hurries over. Cooper stares out into the darkness, hopeless. The strobe dies. Smoke is clearing.

TRUMAN
Everyone's okay.

COOPER
He took Annie. He took Annie.

TRUMAN
I'll get everybody on it. Bastard won't get half a mile
from here.

Truman moves off purposefully. Cooper continues staring out ahead. Andy arrives, at wit's end.

ANDY
Agent Cooper, I've been looking all over, for you....

COOPER
Andy, they're going to need you outside.

ANDY
This is important, that cave painting in the office, I
finally figured it out.

COOPER
What's that?

ANDY
I knew I'd seen it someplace before. I know where it's
telling us to go, it's not a puzzle at all ... it's a map.

Galvanized, Cooper stares at the unlined, boundless face of Andy Brennan.

FADE OUT:

THE END